After the episode of being told my face didn’t rate as well as my hair, obviously it didn’t do too much for my confidence. When moving onto middle school, the person who made the comment before had left to go to the school her Mum taught at – funnily enough a friend I made on the first day of university who went to that school and had had very similar nightmarish problems with her.
I’ve never really been too fussed about my hair though. I’ve never dyed it and at that point my Grandmother was making the decisions about my hair for me – now I just go in and say ‘do whatever you want’ that has led to hairstyles I’ll talk about another time. I believe it was the Monday after getting my hair cut on the Saturday and we’re just coming back off the playground and walking back to class. A guy whose house I used to also go play round and WAS good friends with, looks at me and just yells ‘YOU HAVE A HAIRCUT LIKE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD’.
Well I was super embarrassed and cried in whatever class it was. My friends were consoling me telling me it wasn’t like that at all. To be fair it was the same haircut I had all the time… a bob and fringe. I think after that I never spoke to him again and he wasn’t sure why I was avoiding him, even seeing him in later years I would get angry for the years of self-esteem issues he gave me.
After that I went home and stuck a glittery green star slide in my hair and for the next couple of years was forever sliding clips into my hair and getting the fringe of my face. When it finally grew out I wore it up in a ponytail, but my hair is super thick and uncontrollable so it would look terrible. I then discovered hair products and made my hair supershiny and pushed all the uncontrollable bits down to my scalp. A few years later in high school someone asked to see my hair down, so I put it down and felt really uncomfortable. I was so super-paranoid about my hair. I hated it and felt so self-concious. That person loved it and told me I should wear it down more… so the next couple of weeks I did and felt super insecure as my hair was really wavy when everyone was straightening the hell out of theirs. After then I only used to wear it up for sports and during one phase I always wore a beanie - that made me look like a boy- and at one point I would wear it every day until it flattened my hair out. Obviously by then though it was very greasy and I needed to wash it anyways.
Looking back it feels so stupid now, but I feel bad for my younger self having one comment make an impact on my life for at least 3 or 4 years.